I watch a lot of cooking shows with my mom these days. She has an air conditioner downstairs. All I have upstairs is fans, which, when the mercury tops 90 degrees Fahrenheit in mid-June, merely blows around the hot air at high speed.

One of my favorite cooking shows she watches is the one where a chef and his staff must produce a catered meal for large groups of people in unfamiliar surroundings, and on tight deadlines. Of course he’s always panicking that they’re not going to get done on time. And naturally he’s all over his staff when things go wrong — which they do, invariably.

What made me think of this was seeing a blog post title that was something like, “Cooking for 1,000.” What if ordinary people had to cook for one thousand hungry diners? My first thought was, is there a toll free number I can call for help, on the order of “1-800-HelpMe!” But, alas, toll free service doesn’t include exclamation marks.

I realized that cooking for that many people would be an impossible mission for me. I’ll leave that to the experts and stay here in front of Mom’s A/C, thanks.