In part 3 of this series we talked about Blueprinting the Life of Your Dreams.

There are 4 core areas, or what I call core blueprints, that require your attention if you want to have a life that is in flow with your true passion and purpose. When you’ve created all 4 of your blueprints and you have all 4 of these areas functioning at a level that satisfies you, then your life will be more peaceful and effortless than you have ever imagined it could really be… a

No magic bullet required!

In the final week we will discuss this area: *Mentoring for Your Life and Your Business

Right now we’ll move on to the Sales/Marketing/Communication Skills Blueprint.

If you’ve done the work we’ve discussed in the first 3 installments of this series, you’ll be standing in a place today of knowing who you are, where you’re starting from, where you want to go and how you’re going to get there.

Do you love the topics of sales and marketing? The majority of people would answer no. You’re not alone if you would like to have clients lining up to do business with you without you ever having to ‘sell’ yourself or your products and if a marketing plan could become a thing of the past.

But… reality is that unless you work on increasing the level of skill you have in the areas of sales, marketing and communication, your business has no chance of reaching it’s full potential and even worse, it has every chance of failure.

So how do you blueprint these areas of your business for success?

In last week’s blueprint I mentioned that the top 3% of the people in the world have such a different life than the other 97% because they look at life differently and they make conscious choices. One of those conscious choices is to create a plan for building their business and it’s day to day operations for growth and financial prosperity.

This may not be a sexy topic but you can create a very elegant life with the cash flow that results from this particular blueprint.

Just like with the other blueprints we’ve discussed, first you have to know your starting point. The next step is to evaluate how you feel about where you are and then decide where you would like to take it next.

Are you doing what needs to be done to grow your business to the level you would like in a time frame that is optimal for you?

One thing I can tell you is that this is as individualized as any of the other 3 blueprints. Don’t measure your success or lack of success against what you see someone else doing in their business. That could be a fatal mistake and take you in a direction you really have no desire to go, while you follow someone else who is following their dream.

Remember that this is all about you. What you are passionate about, what you want your life to look like, the activities you choose to include in the way you create your business and the way you grow your business.

What you may not have considered in this big picture is what do you really want your business to provide for you?

I can guarantee you that it’s not about an amount of money in the bank. What does that money represent to you and what do you want it to do for you? When you answer those questions you’ll have a better idea of what the goal of your business really is.

In what proportion do you want to trade your time for money? The answer to that will tell you to what extent at this moment in time you either value your lifestyle more or your bank account more.

Most importantly, there is no right or wrong answer. It’s your choice. There are no rules of how many hours you should or shouldn’t work. It’s more about looking at why you’re working the hours that you do.

Once you are clear on how many hours you choose to work, what you want to spend that time doing and the results you expect to achieve, you can create a blueprint of sales, marketing and the proper communication to your target market to achieve those goals in the time frame you would like.

It goes back to the premise of all 4 of these blueprints that what you are creating is the script of what you want your life story to be from now on.

It’s time for you to take 100% responsibility and take back 100% of your power. Pick up your pen and create a script for yourself that is exciting and compelling and passionate and fulfilling for you on every level.

And remember that a vital ingredient to making this work is the cash your business provides to fund the life of your dreams, so let’s create the business of your dreams to go along with it.

Next, after you evaluate how you feel about where you are, take a look at what shifts you would like to make. Figure out what the end result is you are moving toward.

What do you really want your business to look like if there are no limits?

Once you’ve written your answer to that question, ask yourself what it’s going to take to get you there. If you get stuck here, I can help you. Blueprinting people’s lives is something that comes clearly and easily for me.

Create your step-by-step Sales/Marketing/Communication Skills Blueprint if you feel like you can do it on your own and take the first step today.

Remember that all you ever need to know how to do is the next step that you’re going to take right now and the end result. The steps in between and the people you need to help you make it happen will show themselves as needed.

Next week we’ll move on to Mentoring for Your Life and Your Business Blueprint. Now that you know what you want and how you’re going to get there and you know how you’re going to get the cash to make it happen we’ll be ready to put it all together with the mentoring to keep you on track.

So get to work right now on blueprinting your business skills!

Until next week, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Just comment on this post on my blog.

In part 1 of this series we talked about the quick fix people are looking for as opposed to taking responsibility for creating your life.

And I asked you…

So where do you start if you are ready to take responsibility for your life and create your future?

There are 4 core areas, or what I call core blueprints, that require your attention if you want to have a life that is in flow with your true passion and purpose. When you’ve created all 4 of your blueprints and you have all 4 of these areas functioning at a level that satisfies you, then your life will be more peaceful and effortless than you have ever imagined it could really be…

No magic bullet required!

In the next 4 weeks we will discuss each of these areas:

*Introspection and Discovery of Purpose *Blueprinting the Life of Your Dreams *Sales/Marketing/Communication Skills *Mentoring for Your Life and Your Business

First I’d like to have you go back and look at how you reacted to the assignment I gave you at the end of part 1. You remember, the four lines I asked you to read out loud and then look at what your reaction told you about yourself.

I’m making the assumption that you’ve at least taken one simple action towards creating your life by doing this. So how did that go for you?

What came up?

Your body reacts to your thoughts and feelings, situations real or imagined, all the time but most of the time we aren’t aware of it, or you’ll look for a pill or a drink to cover the reaction.

Why do you think people refer to your ‘gut’ reaction?

When your stomach gets butterflies or starts swirling do you reach for an antacid or do you go inside and ask yourself what’s really happening here?

Because now, in part two of this series, we’re talking about Introspection and Discovering Your Purpose.

Introspection does not require hours of meditation or trekking to Tibet. You can start very simply by just listening to what your body is telling you.

For example: When you notice your body having a reaction, take a minute and see what was just happening that you are reacting to. Was it a phone call, an email, a conversation, or seeing something you don’t want to do coming up next on your calendar?

Or was it a daydream, a thought of fear or doubt that isn’t even real?

First you have to know what is driving your life now before you can make a shift that will move you in the direction you want to go. Why randomly make changes in your life if you don’t know where you’re actually at or what your truly want?

It’s like shooting arrows at a target while someone is spinning you around instead of planting your body, taking a proper stance and aiming at your target. That would be silly, wouldn’t it? And yet you’re basically doing the same thing every day if you haven’t created your first blueprint of Introspection and Discovery of Purpose.

So how do you get started figuring out what your purpose is?

These are criteria that I use to qualify every opportunity that comes up in my life. I believe they will serve you as well as they have served my clients in the last several years.

7 Criteria for Recognizing Your Passion and Purpose

1. Doing it makes you feel good about yourself 2. You would do it for free 3. You loose all track of time when you do it 4. You love to talk about it to everyone 5. You are happy to teach others 6. If this were how you spent all your time, it would be a good thing. 7. It makes you want to get out of bed in the morning

If you are truly living your purpose and doing what you are meant to do in this life, you will easily be ale to say yes to all 7 of these criteria. And just as importantly, you will be able to confidently say no to any opportunity that doesn’t rate a resounding yes. And I mean all 7, every time.

If you say yes to 6, but 1 of these criteria is a no or a maybe for you, then say no to whatever it is. It’s not worth your time and effort to do anything that isn’t a perfect fit for you. You don’t want to be coming from a place of lack and grabbing on to something that isn’t meant for you.

I can hear all the “yes, but..” now. It doesn’t matter how good the opportunity would make you look or how much money it could bring or what your friends will say if you don’t do it. Just say no. Your life will start working on such a higher level as soon as you really embrace this concept of saying no to the good to say yes to the great.

That’s the first step to creating your life and creating the first blueprint.

You must have a place that you confidently stand in your life. Your own personal line in the sand. And only you know what that is. I can’t give it to you and neither can anyone else.

Another good tool I would suggest you use is creating your own personal manifesto. If you haven’t done that, you can go to http://LynnPierce.com and sign up for this ezine, and you’ll get an email with a special report on how to create your personal manifesto as my gift to you. I take you step by step through how to create it and how to use it. It’s a powerful tool.

To be living your blueprint of introspection and purpose you have to be in a place of abundance in terms of confidently saying no to an opportunity that may be a good one to have the space available in your life to welcome a great one.

Does that make sense?

Too often whether it’s a relationship, a job, or a dream; you’re limiting your own ability to live your purpose by fearfully holding on to things in your life that, upon introspection, you would realize are not serving you at the highest level.

The law of attraction is not the only Universal law. One that has always been a very important one in my life is the law of creating a vacuum. Nothing new and great can come into your life unless a space has been created for it to occupy.

If all the available space in your life is filled with things that are less than perfect for you, there is no room for anything better to show up.

So you can use the law of attraction and sit and wait, or you can beg and plead, or you can stand on your head, but you will not get your desired end result.

Until you let go and know that the Universe will bring into your life exactly what you need to fulfill your purpose, you’ll have no space available for it come into your life.

Have you ever been in a bad relationship and wished for a better person to come into your life, but you wouldn’t break up with the first person because you were afraid you’d be alone?

How did that work out for you? Eventually, if you suffer enough and the pain becomes great enough you’ll make the leap and leave. Then, lo and behold, someone else shows up.

That’s the way it works in every area of your life. You can always take the slow and painful route and wait to be so miserable that you make a change out of desperation or you can choose now to actively listen to your body when you have a ‘gut reaction’ and begin to create blueprint #1: Introspection and Discovery of Purpose using the tools you’ve learned here.

Next week we’ll move on to my favorite part, Blueprinting the Life of Your Dreams.

So get to work right now on discovering your purpose and creating your personal manifesto so you’ll be standing in a place of knowing who you are, where you’re starting from and where you want to go so we can begin to create that life for you next week!

Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Just comment on this post on my blog.

In part 2 of this series we talked about introspection and discovering your purpose.

And I asked you to create your own persona manifesto. If you haven’t done that, you can go to http://LynnPierce.com and sign up for this ezine, and you’ll get an email with a special report on how to create your personal manifesto as my gift to you. I take you step by step through how to create it and how to use it.

It’s a powerful tool.

There are 4 core areas, or what I call core blueprints, that require your attention if you want to have a life that is in flow with your true passion and purpose. When you’ve created all 4 of your blueprints and you have all 4 of these areas functioning at a level that satisfies you, then your life will be more peaceful and effortless than you have ever imagined it could really be…

No magic bullet required!

In the final 2 weeks we will discuss each of these areas:

*Sales/Marketing/Communication Skills *Mentoring for Your Life and Your Business

Right now we’ll move on to my favorite part, Blueprinting the Life of Your Dreams.

If you’ve done the work we’ve discussed in the first 2 installments of this series, you’ll be standing in a place today of knowing who you are, where you’re starting from and where you want to go.

Do you have a blueprint for the life of your dreams? Do you have a blueprint for the life you’re living today? Have you ever thought of creating a blueprint for your life?

The majority of people would answer no to all three of those questions. In fact they may ask what a blueprint for someone’s life would even involve, since it’s something they’ve never even considered before. Most people live day to day, putting one foot in front of the other without giving any thought to who really is making the decisions in their life or how they ended up where they are.

That’s why the top 3% of the people in the world have such a different life than the other 97%. They look at life differently and they make conscious choices.

Now so can you.

Creating a blueprint for the life of your dreams is not difficult to do when you know how or when you have someone to guide you through the process.

First you have to know your starting point. The next step is to evaluate how you feel about where you are.

You have a unique opportunity to choose differently every morning because you wake up every morning not knowing what the day will bring. There is an opportunity each day for an “aha” moment, in which to see yourself on a deeper level. There is also an opportunity on any given day to take your life in a whole different direction.

You are exactly where you are at this moment based on the choices that you continue to make. There is no such thing as “I have no choice, because…” That’s an excuse.

You have lived life up to now creating stories from the facts of your life, creating scenarios with words like “I can’t because”, “____ made me” or “I had to because.”

That’s over now.

Every thought you have is a decision waiting to be made. Einstein’s definition of insanity is to keep doing what you’ve always done expecting different results.

If you need help, get a friend to help sort out the facts from the story you’ve told yourself about your life. Let me warn you; it’s not easy to be completely objective and do this on your own. Make a list of facts and a brief description of the story you’ve told yourself about why you are the way you are.

Afterwards look at what you learned about the stories you’ve told yourself. Do they still make sense or do they seem ridiculous now?

What limiting beliefs have you uncovered?

Write your own script of what you want your life story to be from now on. If you don’t take on the job of being the writer and director in your life, someone else will.

So after you evaluate how you feel about where you are, take a look at what shifts you would like to make. Figure out what the end result is you are moving toward.

What do you really want your life to look like if there are no limits?

Once you’ve written your answer to that question, ask yourself what it’s going to take to get you there. If you get stuck here, I can help you.

Blueprinting people’s lives is something that comes clearly and easily for me.

Create your step-by-step plan for making it happen if you feel like you can do it on your own and take the first step today.

Remember that all you ever need to know how to do is the next step that you’re going to take right now and the end result. The steps in between and the people you need to help you make it happen will show themselves as needed.

Next week we’ll move on to Sales/Marketing/Communication Skills. Now that you know what you want and how you’re going to get there, you probably need some cash to make it happen, right?

So get to work right now on blueprinting the life of your dreams so we can work on your business and get the cash flowing to fund that lifestyle next week!

Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Just comment on this post on my blog.

POEMS I WROTE SOMETIME AFTER 1995

I have been asked recently if I have ever written any Poetry . I had said No at first. Then I remembered that some time back after 1995 after a break up with a Girl that I had lived with for a while. (Probably the only real relationship of my life, So Far) I wrote what I would call “two poems”!

The first I wrote right after the break up. I guess I was at the point I was just trying show I was a hardcore man and the break up did not effect me. So I was trying to be funny about the whole thing.

The second I wrote years later after my Dog “Mutely Junior” was killed. Juniors Mother had been the Girl I had lived withs Dog named “Riff Raff”, and his Father was named “Mutely” He had been my Fathers dog . When me and the girl broke up, Junior was still only a puppy about six months old and he was by my side the whole time. He was like my Son. The girl I had dated had kids that I helped take care of while I lived there and I do not think it could have been much harder leaving the kids had they been my own flesh and blood.

I do not fall in love easy and my life has always been about being a Biker and I have often said the last thing I want to do is anything like getting married and having kids. I have always said I want something more from life. So I found it very odd and disconcerting that I found myself so happy living with this Girl playing the roll of Father to her kids ! I guess what we tell ourselves we want and what you really want can be two totally different things! I was young then and as I look back now I can remember I did not keep it much of a secret that I wanted more from life and I can only assume that was a big part of why we broke up.

After the Break up I lived in a Cabin in the woods in upstate NY in a small town for about 4 years. Junior was almost always by my side and he and I enjoyed many adventures during that time. As much as I loved my life in the Cabin. I once again found myself wanting more from life. So I moved to Long Island NY. I was getting myself set up in yet another new life. During this time while I got my new life in order, I had left Junior with my Father to be take care of . One night my Father let him out and Junior ran off . A few days later Junior was found by the Train tracks. He had been hit by a Train and was dead. It was no ones fault. Junior had always loved fast to run threw the woods. It was part of who he was. When I heard about Juniors death I wrote the Second poem. Junior was the last part of what I often think of as a different life I once lived. With Junior gone it was at that point that I truly felt the break up.

These Poems are not of me now but of a Me I once was or maybe a Me I could have been. I believe I have now found my place in the world and I am almost positive I am happy. So I will post these poems for you all to read! Some may say these poems will make me look weak. To them I say always remember looks can be deceiving !!!

I hope you enjoy the poems. LJ James

Love?

I told you Id walk a Million Miles for you. You said Please do.

I told you I would clime the highest Mountain for you. You said I hope you fall off.

I told you I would swim the oceans for your Love . You said I hope you Drown.

I told you my heart was yours You said let me see it.

I told you I would die for you. You said prove it!!!

Sweet Heart I’m starting to get the feeling you don’t Love Me !!!! By L.J. James

———————————————————– Home or Lost

I stand here alone thinking of a place gone Past. Never thinking that I have been away so long.

Its a strange feeling to know your home is no longer yours but now some others.

I can’t go back, but I still wonder if I would.

I was always cold on that hill but my heart was warm.

My Dog was born there but now he too is gone Killed in the Night by a train going some where I have never been.

My heart got broke but I did not cry.

I though I was happy before I really was. Now I wonder can I be again.

My heart calls out for me to follow the sun. But I don’t remember where it is that I was going before I stopped here

Am I happy here, I think so but I’ve been wrong before! By L.J. James AmericanBikerX.com

Queensboro Motorcycle Club has been around for over 98 years! That’s right I said over 98 years, That’s not only a long time for a Motorcycle Club,that’s a long time for anything!

OK Lets stop and think about this for a minute, The first (gas-engined) Motorcycle was invented in 1885. (Of course some consider the first Motorcycle invented to be the two-cylinder, steam-engine motorcycle powered by coal invented in 1867 by American, Sylvester Howard Roper) Harley Davidson who started in 1903 only has 7 years on Queensboro MC!

This MC has been around since the infancy of the Motorcycle culture. Now I have only known Queensboro MC for about 8 of those 97 years but I can tell you over 97 years this group of Bikers have made many friends in and outside of the Motorcycle world! Their annual Motorcycle Rodeo Held each year at a local Park shows not only how many friends they have made but also how 98 years can teach you how to throw a great party.Just one look at the parking lot at the Rodeo shows you the wide diversity of their Friends,With Motorcycles from Harley to Honda, Ninja to Norton and so many others in between. Now you don’t need a Motorcycle to be part of the FOQ (Friends of Queensboro)Crew and some of their many friends showed up in cars to enjoy the perfect Summer day!

The Event starts with sign up at Rolling Thunder in Hempstead and a Scenic ride over to the Rodeo. Once at the Rodeo there are of course plenty of great Motorcycle Events to enter,None of them more memorable then the Port-a-Potty pull ! If you need to ask what a Port-a-Potty pull is, Well all I can say is your just going to have to show up at next years Rodeo! The Event also has many great Vendors,Food and Beverages, a D.J., Children’s events, a Bike Show and many games you don’t need a Motorcycle to play, Such as the Hilarious game “Shoot the Biker Freak”. The Final event of the day is always the Tug of War !

Queensboro MC’s Motorcycle Rodeo has a permanent mark on my calendar of events to attend every year and a big gold star on it for 2010!!! Check out QueensboroMC.com for info on their many other great Annual events!!!

Your Bro L.J. James AmericanBikerX.com Radio show at BikerLowdown.com

I and my wife, Crystal look for any opportunity to get away from it all and go to the beach with our friends. We play music around a big fire sing and dance the night away. It’s an awesome feeling.

I think the best time to go to the beach is when it gets cold. We don’t swim, but being there and watching the sun go down with my closest friends just gives a free feeling. We let go of the stress of our weekly lives, and just have fun.

When you go to the beach in the colder months though, camping outside is tough even when you’re right next to the fire. So we usually hop online and look for some cheap beach hotels to stay the night in.

The beach is for relaxation and fun. So I always make my hotel reservation before leaving my home to avoid disappointing evenings and stress galore. If they are booked up you have problems. Don’t let that stress be hanging on you at the beach where you are supposed to relax.

You can make reservations at almost any hotel online these days, so take advantage of it. Then you can go to the beach and not have to be thinking about where you’ll stay.

The beach is for relaxation and fun. So don’t take the stresses of every day life with you when you go. Just bring the music, the food, and the beer and it’s all good times.

One of the things that I thought that my future wife and I were good at was compromising.  You see, though we are both separate people, we seem to be able to work things out in an amicable manner and usually come to an agreement if there is something we need to decide on.  At least, that is what I thought until we were planning our wedding.

You see, couldn’t decide which of the Queensland, Mackay wedding venues we wanted to use.  I guess the real problem stemmed from the fact that she wanted to have one of those garden weddings that you see on the many wedding television shows, but I wanted to get married on the beach, and we just couldn’t find a happy middle ground.

But, we will have to figure something out soon, as we will be meeting with the wedding ceremony minister tomorrow, and we surely need to have something out by then – we might have to stay up all night to figure it out though.

Attract her attention. Yes, there must be something that should make your profile outstanding, comparing to “male, Aquarius, looking for an attractive..” boring stereotypes. It is your, great and unique personality presented here, so you better make it special.

Details are important However, it is a bit different case with your personal profile. Indeed, your task is to intrigue her, so if she would like to know how badly are you addicted to caffeine or what you can see from the windows of your office, you will have a chance to tell her later. Your personal description must be brief and to the point: list only the main features of your character and what you are looking for in another person.

Address her right. Address her directly as you, your, i.e. by all means avoid writing in third person. If you write (for example): “I am looking for a single woman, with sense of humor, who appreciates order in her life, but for the same time can find a joy in being caught under summer rain,” then she, even if this description fits her perfectly, most likely will pass it by, because, she will feel that this message is addressed to somebody else. Better to write something: “You are kind, cheerful, and passionate. You like to have an order in your life, but sometimes you can get yourself completely and carelessly wet under a warm summer rain.” Although both examples are very close in content, it is much likely that she will recognize herself in your words of the last example, and so you will get much better attention from her and, therefore, more chances for success.

Make her laugh. Yes, this will be a great plus if you will add some element of a joke, a trick, a funny surprise in your profile. Remember, this profile is not going to be reviewed as your promotion dossier, while rewards can go quite beyond any promotion.

Mystery. Never forget that you are writing to a woman. Some element of mystery and intrigue will stir certain emotional mechanisms of her soul. Leave a part of your story untold, give her an opportunity to fill the blanks with her own imagination and feelings. Perhaps she will ask you some questions, and most certainly she will find you interesting. Remember: the purpose of your profile is to start a dialogue!

Warning about your exclusion list. Offering your friendship to anybody is almost as much mindless, as being too picky with your requirements. Sure, there are not that many men who are looking specifically for ugly, stupid or mean women, however, you have to set your turn-offs wisely. Keep in mind that 80% of women (including gorgeous ones) some way, or another are displeased with themselves. Feeling stupid or ugly does not mean to be the one, but the best part of mankind sometimes mistakes their feelings for reality. You better leave such judgment to yourself. Besides, if someone will stipulate that he is looking for a supermodel with Ph.D. in physics, ladies may view this as an indication of some inferiority complex, and skip to the next profile.

Watch your language. I am not talking about the choice of your words, I am talking about observing the grammar. You can write that you are very successful in your business, that you are dreaming to fill your mansion in Palm Beach Gardens with kids and pets, but you cannot do this alone, etc. Make just two grammar mistakes and your chances to find someone will dwindle substantially. She will not buy it, no matter how “sensear is your writting”.

Restrain from any physical bravado. Unless you are seeking a brief date for tonight, you better keep any physical notions off your profile. Even if one can make it ten times over night, one should not hurry to tell this to the world, it just sounds silly.

Truth, truth and nothing but the truth. Lie will be revealed sooner or later. Why should you tarnish possibly great relationship with a lie? Be honest with your profile and with the choice of your photos.

Brevity is a virtue. That reminds me to finish this article. Just a final word: be brief but avoid omissions and abbreviations. Your profile is not a classified ad (although there is some similarity), you will be given enough space to express yourself. If you will make it in untidy manner, woman may think that so will be your attention to her, and so she will pass you. So make it tidy and to the point. Good luck.

Some motivation. You are a single parent and you doubt that you need another love in your life aside from the one which you already have: love of your children. Really, why you should make your life more complicated, is not this already the case? Every single mom or dad may have such thoughts once in a while, but here is an answer to it. People in love look better, because they feel happier and, as a result they live longer, so they can give more love to those whom they love. Or, in other words, the very existence in this world requires a balance: if your love to your children is not balanced by your own love life, then how good is your love to your children in the first place? They sure love you, so they want you to be happy, but are you happy while you are alone? Bottom line: as a single parent you may need strong motivation for dating again, so this way (or another) you have to work it out for yourself first.

Be ready. Hope you agree with all stated above, maybe you have even better reasons for looking for love again (although I think desire of being happy is good enough). How well prepared are you? Here are some simple checks. First, you shall have no bad feelings about your former spouse/lover. If there are any, you have to free yourself completely from those feelings: the least thing you need is to let anything from your past to sneak into your new relationship. Second, do you love yourself? If not, you have to fix this attitude first. Your self-negation will make harder for another person to love you, because love is always sharing, you dont want him (or her) to share this with you. Finally, you may feel that a century passed since you loved someone, how can you get back to this state? Probably, the best (and maybe completely new for you) approach will be an online dating. This is where you can totally control the pace of the process and immerse yourself gradually into this hot tub of new/old feelings.

How much it costs? Oh well, you have motivation and you are prepared, but here is another problem: you do not really feel that you can afford it. Fortunately, dating online will save you tenfold vs. old-fashioned approach just by the very nature and logistics of web dating. If you are not familiar yet with internet dating, just think how you can access literally thousands of profiles of potential candidates without any expense except for very moderate membership fee. Yes, you will save a lot on gas, food, drink, time, but most important you will save on almost guaranteed exclusion of dating a wrong person. Is not that priceless? Moreover, you can sign-up for single parents clubs and find someone in your area with similar interests.

You and your children. You are looking for a date, but what about your children: how much they should be informed about your intentions, if they should be informed at all? The answer is yes, they should know that you are looking for a date. And they should know when you are going to a date, they should know what to do if you will be late, etc. For the same time you should not let them any attempt to control your dating. They can do it from a simple jealousy, but this will pass. Dont let them make any choices for you, you have to decide whom you are dating and whom not, it is your life.

Your kids and your new friend. Sooner or later your dating will turn into a durable relationship and you will have to introduce your kids to your new friend. First, you just have to tell them about him or her. You dont need any surprises, neither you want somebody else telling them about it. The first meeting must be short, pleasant and free of anything artificial. No need to push any side for a great friendship, it should develop naturally and in time. Children should feel comfortably in new conditions: you have to assure them that there will be no change in your feelings toward them and you will care about them as always. After the first meeting ask kids their opinion. You must always be open and sincere with your children on this subject.

You and your new friend children. Before meeting with the children of your new friend, you have to know about them as much as you can (or, at least, something). Set the first meeting on the neutral grounds, i.e. not in their home, so they will not feel threatened as if you are trying to take their living space from them. Absolutely abstain from saying or showing anything negative about their other parent. Be natural, do not deem this meeting as a vital event of your life (even if this is the case). Bring some presents (nothing too cheap, nothing too expensive), it is always good to ask your friend what will be a good thing to bring to the kids. You have to be friendly, even if the child is cold with you, because you are the one who is a grownup. And be yourself, because children will feel any pretence a mile away. With all that handled in a thoughtful and leveled manner you will succeed.

Thats it! Oops, I almost forgot one more thing. Do not rush into getting married again, just give it some time, and good luck!

Writing first message which will win attention of your potential date is not an easy task. Here are some hints.

Choice First, address only those people, whose profiles attracted your attention. If you will meet someone of your choice, this already will be worth your effort. If you will not succeed, there is no reason for despair: thousands of new people are joining tens of dating sites daily, so you will be the winner sooner or later. Even if you having a good progress with one person, keep exchange with a few more at the same time. There is nothing wrong with that: by the time when you will get into a real relationship, you better have some options.

Some challenge In our first message we want to get all attention from the candidate of our choice and, quite often the effect is opposite! How to make our first message attractive and not boastful (nor boring), so we will hear back?

If your call gets ignored, do not give up, never dwell on it, try improving your writing instead. Develop your own style, which makes you feel good about your literary efforts, try to avoid anything which sounds boring. One of the most successful approaches is writing message as a conversation with your addressee.

Key elements Your letter must be written individually for every candidate. People can easily tell generic letters, because they contain everything about the author, and not a word about other person, not a reflection on other persons profile. Therefore, in your first letter, you must mention something from the profile of your addressee. If you are writing to this person, then there better be a reason: what in this individuals profile turned you on? Ask questions and tell a bit about yourself. The purpose of your first letter is to start a conversation based on mutual interests.

Regarding the toneIt is OK to flirt and tease (lightly) your addressee in the first message, but please, avoid anything which may be perceived radical. Not a word about sex, no claim that you are his (or her) perfect match. Seeing someone personal profile is not enough for making such claims. Keep the tone of your first message light and relaxed, almost as if you are introduced to a new business colleague.

Few more tips If you will not hear back from her (or him), it is quite likely is that your letter was not just good enough. Do not give up, try again and always keep in mind that it is unlikely that you are the only one who is writing to this person. This should encourage you to make your letter outstanding, compelling your candidate to reply! Feel free to add some element of a mystery to your message, ask questions, try to answer them for him, or her. And, if you will succeed and dialogue will ensue, never get dragged into a long online exchange, try to move to an offline date as soon as you can, because this is your purpose, this is why you have started all that in the first place!